Growing up in a single parent home, little from my childhood qualified me to be a husband or father. My background impacted my ability to trust God. Nonetheless, the religious environment at a church school in San Francisco acquainted me with doctrines of faith.
Many years later, Kay and I met on a blind date with only an interest in having a good time. Yet ten months later, we were married. At 27, I was a husband and instant father to four children I would later adopt. Their ages were 4, 5, 12 and 14.
My naïve view about raising children was, “It’s a matter of good business management—like my career.”
Part of chronically working long hours was to ensure a different environment from the one in which I was brought up. Growing up in a single parent home, I felt good about providing well for my new family. To me, it seemed like a legitimate swap for late hours. My packed schedule was a rebuttal to a fear of failure. It was also an attempt to compensate for what I had lacked growing up. Despite Kay’s protests, I wasn’t willing to alter the lifestyle that fed a fast-track career which included late working hours and entertaining customers at fancy dinners. To me this was realistic.
Early in our marriage, Kay recognized her need for a closer relationship with God. I couldn’t understand what was happening to her. One day, Kay asked if we could pray together. I backed off. That was way too personal, and besides, prayers were already written down in the church’s prayer book. I considered myself religious because I’d insisted the family attend church, and I had the desire to be accepted by God. While my interactions with God were performance-based, I observed something different in Kay’s insatiable appetite to study the Bible. Rather than just learning about Christianity, there was excitement in getting to know Jesus and telling others about him. Her prior streaks of willful independence softened with a desire to serve—the family and others. The God I thought I knew demanded obedience, not a mutual love relationship. I had not met God. I only knew about him. I am glad Kay didn’t give up on me and continued praying.
Three years into marriage I was offered another promotion which meant we would move again. This time to the Washington D.C. area. Was this an answer to Kay’s prayers? I now believe it was. The move orchestrated His plan which led to my salvation. In the Washington metropolitan area, God was about to launch extraordinary business circumstances to point me to Him. At the same time, Kay had met an older woman who would become her spiritual mentor. God was on display before my eyes in daily circumstances. Much like brush strokes on a canvas, I was beginning to get the picture.
When Kay’s new Christian friend invited our family to their home for dinner, I went reluctantly. After dinner, the children dispersed to the basement and a virtual stranger, the woman’s husband, presented the Gospel to me. It was the first time I had “ears to hear the Gospel” which I attribute to prayer and the grace of God. The Gospel had come to life for me.
In the weeks and months that followed, my new faith stepped into my calendar. My heart for family priorities were coming more into focus. God was changing me. Leaving a promising career path to start a small company was the right decision.
Our once unequally yoked marriage is now approaching 48 years. Our marriage became a great one. The years prior to closer spiritual unity provide a stark contrast to a marriage now enriched through our mutual love for God.
